Dearest Eli,
I would like to give you an update. I learned so much in this period. All the episodes with my body throughout my life have been great teachings!
The inflammation in my hip is cured with Turmeric extract. Apparently this is very good for joints and inflammation. The hip is not that worn out yet that it needs surgery, so for now I’m off the hook. I go to a rehabilitation centre twice a week for physical therapy and I do exercises daily (which is new because I would always feel sorry for myself and then bail out…) And this whole experience has been so good for realising that I can live my life regardless of what my physical abilities are and most importantly without feeling sorry for myself!
A couple of weeks ago I had a small operation on my gums. In the past I would have dragged in the whole chemo therapy child trauma. As a 12 year old kid, when I had chemo every three weeks for almost a year it was like this: I would recover from one chemo and then start dreading the next one. It was like a ghost chasing me, coming closer and closer to the point of hysteria, until dooms day was there. And I was the victim of this. I repeated this pattern in many other physical experiences because I believed this was how it was done. Now with the operation on my mouth I wanted to test it and see if this movement was still present. The appointment was made 6 weeks in advance so I had plenty of time to see if the ghost would appear to chase me. I can now say that ghosts really don’t exist! I was a bit tense the day of the operation but I was really present all the time, curious even to see how the experience was without all the made up stuff. And it was fine! There was love in the room and the people working on me were really kind and caring and noticed what a relaxed patient I was. And hardly any pain at all! No big deal! Just what it was.
I am so grateful Eli! I am so happy about how this awakening keeps gracefully unfolding in unexpected ways. I am grateful for this life, exactly as it is. Ghosts don’t exist and we have nothing to fear.
I am so looking forward to seeing you! Not long now…
I hope you are well!
All my love to you and Gangaji!
♥♥♥